An NBA season is made up of matches, guys who watch them and talk about them, but also guys who watch them and rate them. Probable revenge after a youth spent collecting zeros, and a perfect opportunity in any case to let go of the punchline by the kilo. Once again this season, Team Notes will delight you with its unfailing imagination, while still trying to talk a little bit about basketball. Chick?
What two things do the Philadelphia Sixers and Philadelphia cheese have in common? The city already, then this ability to spread out. Because yes, the Raptors have spread their evening opponents on the floor of ScotiaBank Arena. Under the impetus of Pascal Siakam who was by far the best Cameroonian on the floor, Toronto refused the sweep and will return to the city of brotherly love, contrary to what Joel Embiid announced to Drake. In any case, what kept its promises this evening was the 750 free throws obtained on both sides which allowed this match to last about 3 hours, duration felt: 2 weeks. This does not prevent us from swinging the famous report card. Are you ready ? Nope ? We neither.
Khem Birsh (5): holder having barely played 5 minutes, he obviously did not want to stay. The famous daron who goes to buy cigarettes, it’s him.
Pascal Siakam (8.5): stratospheric match from the top Beyblade, which has been in the oven and the mill to allow Canada to stay alive in these Playoffs. He had to wake up after complicated beginnings, he obeyed. Spicy P has finally found cayenne pepper and Sichuan pepper in its drawers.
OG Anunoby (5.5): he has largely unscrewed on shots, but brings so much in all other areas of the game that Toronto cannot do without him. If his opponent is going to piss, he will piss with it, if he goes to sleep, he will go to sleep with it. Even clingier than a stepmother who doesn’t like you.
Gary Trent Jr. (7): it was also expected at the turn, and not only in GQ and Vogue magazines. GTJ has indeed regained his shooting sensations and has turned into the perfect lieutenant of Siakam. It was clearly not necessary to watch this match next to his companion tonight.
Fred VanVleet (5): not very visible, he then completely disappeared from radar when his hip said stop. He ripped off his jersey in frustration and never returned to Le Cercle. Losing a Drake look-alike is therefore Fianso who must have been sad. Ish Ish.
Thaddeus Young (7): he distributed cleats and swallowed rebounds, that’s the part where we expected him. He then assured his points and his assists, that’s what he is capable of without being his specialty. But he also knocked Joel Embiid down, ordinarily you’d think of a wine merchant’s mandal, but it’s a crossover. We also got crossed.
THADDEUS YOUNG MAKES EMBIID DANCE 💀💀💀💀💀pic.twitter.com/a34oiruS4P
— TrashTalk (@TrashTalk_fr) April 23, 2022
Scottie Barnes (4): very quickly embarrassed by his weakened left ankle which waltzed at the start of the match, he was unable to play a great match. He will console himself with the title of ROY received from the voice of Vince Carter while drinking a good cup of tears from Evan Mobley, thinking that it is now possible that Raptors fans even name their plants in his honor.
Precious Achiuwa (6): valuable off the bench while being discreet, Dobby’s friend decided to show himself by giving Danny Green a stiff neck on his only acceleration of the match. My Precious.
Chris Boucher (5.5): extremely clean in all areas of the game, there are few things to blame him for and even if we wanted to, we wouldn’t succeed, his contribution is so important. Chris Vegan.
Malachi Flynn, Svi Mykhailiuk, Yuta Watanabe, Dalano Banton and Armoni Brooks haven’t played enough to be rated.
Joel Embiid (4.5): then certainly, its statistical contribution and its overall impact are substantial. But on this match, Jojo’s body language was terrible. Passes by beating their backs, very dirty faults and an apparent desire to do battle at every moment. Maybe Embiid was trying to motivate himself, but we’ll have to do better by returning to Philly, and forget about this famous sweep promised to Drake. We understand that taking a cross by Thaddeus Young can make it a little soupy, but still.
Tobias Harris (6.5): one of the only Philly side that doesn’t have much to be ashamed of tonight. Without ever making waves or big mistakes, Tobias Harris made his match, without anyone talking about it. This man doesn’t look like J.Cole for nothing.
Danny Green (2.5): his last recorded shoot was in 2019, still has the same cut as a bad rocker, and he still runs like he has blisters on his feet and T-Rex arms. Every time Danny Green touches the ball, a basketball coach kills himself.
I will always be fascinated by this ability of Danny Green to believe that it is George Gervin in his head, when in fact it is Gregory Grévin.
— TrashTalk (@TrashTalk_fr) April 23, 2022
Tyrese Maxey (4.5): a lot of speed, a lot of self-sacrifice, but little coordination in his movements and little efficiency for this evening. Yes, Tyrese Maxey was a kid in the McDonald’s bowling alley tonight.
James Harden (4): in this period of Ramadan, Muslims waited impatiently for the ftour. In this period of the Playoffs, Sixers fans were eagerly awaiting a smart action from James Harden. Only one of these two events happened, and when we look out our window, we see that the sun has indeed set.
George Niang (5): he assured the shoot with a 3/4, but his differential of -13 despite that, reminds us that Mr. Clooney is the only man on this earth capable of bearing this first name with class.
Shake Milton (5): one of the few to bring some solace to the Sixers, all while coming off the bench. Milkshake Milton.
Paul Reed (5.5): a good battle on the rebound, and a few baskets scored, but we still don’t know who it is, if it happens we noticed a spectator there.
Isaiah Joe, Jaden Springer and Furkan Korkmaz haven’t played enough to be rated.
We are not psychics, but we imagine that a game could hardly lead to a better outcome for the Sixers when Thaddeus Young and Gary Trent Jr. are respectively the best forward and the best guard of the game in question. Drake will perhaps release an album in the night, with as a cover the photo of Joel Embiid in tears. It would be a little presumptuous, and it probably won’t happen, but at least we would have a good laugh. Will the Sixers fold the series or will the Raptors resurrect the dinosaurs? Reply April 26.